Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Nora - Chapter Thirty-Five - A Change of Scenes

"The engagement is off." The words tumbled out of my mouth, seemingly almost, as if on their own. No, I wanted them out, that was sure, and yet, a part of my ached at the sound of them, rolling off my tounge with finality.

"Wha-? But why? And how? Nora-" My father blubbered, utterly shocked. "You can't, surely you can't with the wedding looming so near-"

I cut him off, taking a deep breath to keep my composure. "Father, I have tried. I tried for you, I tried for the sake of mother, and our family name, but I can't, and nothing you say or do will make me any more inclined to marry that man."

Both Hettie and Minevera's eyes grew wider than their breakfast plates, shocked at such news so early in the morning. I may have ruined breakfast for everybody, but now I had finally spoken my mind, and the restless night of before had been worth it; I finally had come to a conclusion for all this maddening business.

"Nora, you two were getting along so well last night. Everyone even said so, and to give up a man like that for something so petty, and soiling our family name, to create such scandal-" Minevera harshly stated, looking me over with discontent.

"I can assure you, had it been something petty, I would not be standing before you as I am. But can you find it in you to think of my feelings in the matter? Of my heart and what it wants?" I trembled, so close to the edge of tears that I was afraid they would spill over. Yet I wasn't even sure what my heart wanted. Only to get away from here, I was sure.

My father could tell I was upset, and he stood up from his place at the table, stepping towards me.

"I'm sorry Nora-"

"You have to trust in me, Father. This is the only solution. Please, try and understand." I took his hands in my own, and he nodded, slowly, but nodded all the same.

"Does this mean Mr. Samuelson can't come over anymore?" Nelly scrunched her face up, trying to understand.

"Yes, love. You won't be seeing him anytime soon." I felt a few tears escape, and I hurried and wiped them away. Everything was slipping beneath me, I felt. But I hardly had any control.

*

"Are you sure this is what you want to do?" My father asked, not for the 19th time. I knew it was only through biting his tounge that I was getting away with this. Trusting me on this issue was probably the hardest thing he'd ever done. For once in his life, he wasn't the one in charge. But he wanted my happiness, and I knew he put that before any scandal that would come.

"I must." I stepped into the carriage, my body sagging underneath my burdens, both my physical bags, and my emotional ones as well. "I have to leave, just until all the gossip dies down, but I'll be back as quickly as I can. I trust you can last without me until then." I grimaced, my sober joke not lightening the mood.

My mind turned to the man whom all the gossip would be about. For an instance, I felt sympathy. Sure, I could run away, but he would take the brunt of it. Suddenly, my sympathy melted away. No, he was too "rich" and well-liked to have anyone hate him, at least, not if they didn't know the truth. No, surely most of the gossip would be about how I was dumb enough to turn down the most sought-after bachleor in the county.

"Your Aunt Jane will take good care of you, I have no doubt of that." My father shut the carriage door and held my hand through the small window. "Nora, I'm- I'm truly sorry, for all of this."

I squeezed his hand, trying to show him my forgiveness. "Father, you were just looking out for me, I know."

"If you're mother were here, she wouldn't have allowed me to put you in the situation. She was always better than I at looking after you girls." He sighed, looking away, at some distant memory. "I'm sorry I failed you Nora."

I gave a small smile, hoping my father would understand. "You did what you could, what you thought was the right thing."

The driver signaled he was ready to leave, and my father stepped back. "Good bye Nora."

"Goodbye Nora!" Nelly yelled from the porch, making her little rag doll wave with her limp hand.

I waved back as the carriage began to take off. Neither Hettie or Minevera waved, only shook their heads before heading back inside.

Not that it mattered. I was on my way to London, and away from any troubles that would stay here.

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