Chapter Thirty-Four - Elliot - Crashes and Burns

A hollow shell. That's that remained. Everything I had been moments before had been torn out and had gone with her through the door. My secret, my heart, all of it.

"Oh dear," Charolette put a gloved hand to her her mouth as if in shock, though it looked more like she was trying to stifle a laugh, "That's one thing about the Ainsworth's daughters, Mr. Samuelson. They're...sensitive. Ever since their mother died, I'm afraid they've--"

"Lovely seeing you this evening, Ms. Evans," I gave a tight smile and tighter bow.

And with that gentlemanly speech, I pushed passed her into the ballroom. From there, I pushed through the crowd and left all together.



I plopped down on my hotel bed and pressed my thumb and forefinger to my eyes as the tears finally came.

Fool! I knew it was coming! It was my fault for going. This shouldn't have been such a hard blow.

And yet, I'd come so close tonight! She'd finally seemed to relax. She seemed to enjoy my presence.

And she'd seemed hurt.

"Gah," I muttered, rubbing my eyes on my sleeve. Foolish, foolish farm boy. I didn't belong here. Not in the elegant balls or pressed clothing. If I had any measure of sense left, I'd pack up my things and leave tonight before the real storm hit.

What would I return to though, the family I'd ruined? And now I'd ruined Charles' family. No. I might not have any sense left but, somehow, I had some dignity. I would stay and take the brunt of the storm so Charles wouldn't have to. I'd seperate myself from him and tell everyone that my cousin had no knowledge of my true identity and that I'd lied to him as well, no matter how much he tried to say otherwise.

But what would I do until then? Nora wasn't the type to run around giving away people's secrets--even if that person had treated her so ruthlessly--so I had until the wedding to figure things out. I could try to turn the situation around....somehow. My faith in miracles was increasingly dimming though. Even if no one else knew, the fact that she did made it impossible. She now played a key role in the Mr. Samuelson image and no amount of borrowed pocket watches could change the fact that I couldn't support her. My doom was imminent.

My thoughts drifted back to our argument. The sadness in her eyes and the pain her words.

"Complicated how Elliot? Complicated as in a marriage perhaps? Complicated as in a bride you don't want them to find out about?"

I sighed. Even if my reputation was shot, we couldn't end on such a discordant note. Even if the entire town thought the very worst of me, I had to at least show her that I was different. To somehow show her that I was more. Even if that meant I'd actually have to change myself and become more. Afterall, her opinnion was the only thing that really mattered to me anymore.

***

 

It had taken half the morning to finally build up the courage to walk to her house. It felt strange putting on the usual costume now that we both knew otherwise, but Mr. Samuelson blundering through town without his usual hat or jacket would undoubtedly cause suspicion--something I was in no mood to deal with. Not yet at least.

 

I searched for something to say on my way there. Something convincing. Something that let her know I thought the world of her. Or something at all would be nice.

 

"Good morning, Mr. Samuelson!"

 

I jerked my head up and switched a smile on, tipping my hat as the local baker passed, "Good morning."

 

My eyes suddenly caught something on the street corner behind him though and I froze.

 

Nathaniel. And he was talking to Nora.

 

A burst of anger boiled inside me. Not at her, but at him. I knew Nora well enough that she was probably just on her way to the market. She wasn't like her sisters in the way that she would readily jump into the arms of any handsome flirt to cross their path. No. I was certain that Nathaniel had been the one to start the conversation.

 

"Oh no you don't," I muttered. Had he been anyone more deserving like, say Mr. Hodges, I would have no place to be upset. But as he was just as much a liar and thief as I was, I wasn't about to let him win this one.

 

Trying to appear as casual as possible, I waited for a chance to cross the street and then hurried over to the other side. Once on the pavement, I manuevered through people until I finally reached her just after Nathaniel had left, all grinning and gracious. Nora, still laughing softly at something he must've said, turned back around and saw me. Again, my presence seemed to banish the smile from her face and, despite our height difference, I suddenly felt very small.

 

"Nora," I tried, "I need to tell you something."

 

She scowled, "And how do I know that won't be a lie?"

 

"I...," a valid point. My mouth only shut again. Seeing that I had no answer, she gave a quick bow and then walked past me.

"No, wait!" I spun around and placed a hand on her shoulder to stop her, "You don't know who he is."

 

She spun around as well, that anger back in her eyes, "I've already told you, Elliot, blaming your faults on another person doesn't build your standing in the least."

 

"I'm not blaming, I'm telling the truth! You must listen--"

 

"No, you must listen," she took a step closer to me, "You've taken advantage of my father, made a fool out of everyone here, and--" her voice caught, "And you've lied to me, Elliot."

 

My heart plummeted, "But Nora, I--"

 

She let out a sad sigh and her voice softened, "If you're not going to break off this engagement, sir, then I'm afraid I'll have to."

 

She turned back around and, again, left me feeling completely empty.

 

Chapter Thirty-Three - Nora - Slips and Falls

"So..." Elliot jutted out his elbow, not so harshly this time, and with a bit more reserve.

A smile jumped to my lips before I could surpress it, and took his offered elbow with my gloved hand. I wasn't sure what it meant; before, I had felt that he felt forced into giving me his elbow because it was expected. Now, I secretly hoped he did it because of his own accord.

Well, so what if I was warming up to him? We'd let it get as far as our engagement ball, it was now only a hop, skip and a jump to the actual ceremony. Yes, the engagement wasn't all I had hoped my engagement to a man I love would be, but marrying Elliot wouldn't be the end of the world. And who knows? I could grow to love a man such as he, I was sure of it.

Infact, had we met under the right circumstances, I was sure I would have fell for him on my own. Well, except for the pompous, show-offy side that he sometimes threw out. No, the real Elliot was quite a different man than the show he put on for the public.

"Quite a lovely night, wouldn't you say?" I stated, staring up at the sky as we walked through my gardens. It was lovely indeed- a perfect night to enjoy with the one you love.

"Yes, indeed, nothing quite like it back where I come from." Elliot looked at the sky and down at me, a genuine smile of content written on his face.

"Oh? So you live further up north then?" We came to the end of the walk, and we circled around, ready for another round around.

"Well, yes and no. My family is originally from there, though I haven't lived there for sometime." I could tell Elliot was extremely comforable, even going as far as to occasionally touch his hand he wasn't using to escort me to my hand. Not that I minded at all.

"You travel a lot then?" I asked, curious.

"I've done a bit, can't say I like it much though. And I can hardly afford to, now-" He stopped completely, horrified. His speech broke off, as he realized what he said. "Now that I have so many acquiantances in town." He rushed out, clearing his throat, hoping it would cover his mistake. He pulled me along so our walk would continue.

His body language gave him away though, and I knew something was wrong. "Mr. Samuelson, acquiantances would hardly hold you back from traveling, especially to see your own family. You can hardly count that as an excuse."

"Well, I don't like to travel, so there, that puts an end to it." He sounded a bit angry, but the anger seemed less directed at me, then at himself.

"Surely you could allow the discomfort, at least to see family?" I couldn't understand what was bothering him. Family meant everything to me, and I hoped the same went for him. If we were to marry, I would want him to hold family as close as I did. And now that I thought about it, it was strange he hadn't even mentioned his own family, until now. Perhaps that's why Elliot wanted out of the marriage in the first place, because his parent's wouldn't approve. Did they even know we were to be married? Was he so ashamed of me, that he would go so far as to hide me from his family? They hadn't shown up at our engagement ball, as what should have been required of them; I could only think the worst.

Elliot's pace increased, and I had a hard time keeping up. "It's a bit complicated." Is all he offered as an answer.

"Complicated how Elliot?" I let go of his arm and stopped, as he walked faster, and further away. "Complicated as in a marriage perhaps? Complicated as in a bride you don't want them to find out about?" My voice got smaller, as I grew more self-conscious. So maybe we weren't even planning on going through with the wedding, and maybe I was fooling myself, but I thought we had grown to like each other, at least tolerate each other. The least he could done is introduced me to his family.

He stopped, swivelled around and softened his voice. "No, no it's nothing like that, Nora. Where would you get a crazy idea like that?" He walked towards me, looking into my face.

"It's the only answer that makes sense." I breathed out, throwing my hands up in exhausperation. "Unless you're hiding some deep dark secret that you don't want me to find out."

Elliot visibly gulped. "Hit that one right on the head, didn't we?" He muttered under his breath, but I still caught it.

"Then you are hiding something from me!" I claimed triumphantly, although it was a hollow victory. I felt coldness running through my veins. I felt betrayed, alone, unsure where we stood anymore. Half of me, my sensible half, felt like sitting down and demanding Elliot to tell me the truth, but the other half of me, my heart, felt like running away, refusing to hear anything that could hurt me and my new feelings for Elliot. I didn't know what to do, and so I stood, dumbly and numbly waiting for Elliot to make the next move.

"Not just you, but everybody. I'm-" Elliot rubbed his neck, unsure of where to go, what to say. Finally, it seemed like he was going to go with the truth. "I'm not at all who I say I am. Who I look like. Heavens, I'm no even using my real last name. I'm flatbroke Nora. A pauper, a debtor without a sixpence to my name. I'm a sheep in a lion's coat, and  I'm sorry."

I froze, looking Elliot straight in the face, although he looked everywhere but at me. "How? Why?" I felt tears swelling up, and I forced them down, hoping not to show any emotion to my fake fiancé. Fake in more ways then one it turned out.

"It's not all my fault." Elliot insisted, "Well, mostly not. And Mr. Scotts-"

"Enough." I stopped him there, holding up a hand for silence. "It's enough to have lied to the whole town, but now to bring the blame to another gentleman?" I gave a hysterical laugh, that sounded pathetic and broken.

"But Nora, you have to understand-"

"Understand what Elliot? That you've lied to my father? My family? To me? I understand that clear enough."
The tears were well underway now, and they weren't going to be stopping anytime soon. I turned around, unable to face him anymore.

"Nora please-" Elliot reached for my hand but I pulled away.

"Having a lover's spat, are we?" We both turned to the voice, and who of all people but Charlotte Evans, standing in the doorway looking, looking as if she had just won a coveted prize.

That was the final straw. "He's all yours." I insisted, pushing my way past her and back inside. The last view I saw of Elliot was he as he shuttered, alone with Charlotte.

Good, I thought. They deserve each other.

Chapter Thirty-Two - Elliot - A Successful Failure

"Stupid, stupid, stupid," I muttered under my breath, hurrying through town in hopes no one would interrupt me if I looked rushed enough.

Why on earth had I done that?! Spending a whole day with her was crossing the line already, but kissing her? Granted it was only on the cheek, but I could only imagine what sort of thoughts were going through her head. We were supposed to breaking off this engagement. More importantly, I was supposed to be breaking off this engagement.

I groaned and shoved my hat down over my eyes; it was no wonder she didn't have any confidence in me. Around her, I couldn't hold a commitment any more than I could a conversation these days. I was always spluttering and grasping for words. Her confidence in me was rightly only lessened by today's performance.

"I'm not made of money, Elliot," Charles had said over breakfast this morning. I'd only taken a sip from my drink to hide my smirk; sometimes I begged to differ--the man could seemingly pull things from a hat at times.

"I can't pay for a wedding and you haven't done anything towards this engagement thing. I told you you'd have to follow through, but I didn't mean to the end! Any longer and she's going to discover you. Then what?"

I'd sighed, suddenly losing my appetite, "I don't know Charles. I haven't had time to come up with ideas."

"And you think I have?" he'd demanded. I didn't meet his gaze. I knew I had far overstayed my welcome with this plan but there was nothing I could do! Thanks to me, Charles had no idea of the full platter these past weeks had been. Luckily he'd softened back into the cousin I knew and sighed.

"I’m sorry, Elliot. I suppose I'm not the one in danger of getting married. But you really need to figure this out. I know you've asked me for suggestions but you know the most about the situation. Perhaps you should pay her another visit and discuss things one last time."

So that had been the plan this morning. Until she placed her hand on my arm. Failing had never felt like such an accomplishment. I may not be doing well in any other area, but I'd won her approval! That had to be redeeming in some way.

And yet, that was the real reason I regretted pressing my lips to her soft cheek. Like a villian who was being rewarded rather than punished, I didn't deserve it. I was a complete liar. If I were any real gentleman, I'd have stopped this whole thing a long time ago. Before it had the potential of hurting her.

I sighed and fiddled with the wet gloves in my pocket. It seemed Charles' costumes and lectures could only get me so far. Yes you could comb Elliot Snyder's hair down and strap him into a trenchcoat, but that didn't make him a gentleman. There was still that boy who thought everything was a game. That adolescent that let his passions rule his actions. That man who ran from his problems.

 And, as much as I'd thought this charade would be a new leaf for me, it appeared absolutely nothing had changed.

Looking up, I realized I was approaching the Lettington's house. Originally I had intended on returning and reporting to Charles how things had gone. Now, however, that was my last intention. My cousin deserved explanation enough but I didn't have the heart today. I'd ruined every plan he'd thought up--plans only made to assist me--and I couldn't face him again with only disapointment.

No. I'd just devote my dwindling energies to preparing myself for the ball tonight.

The ball. Despite everything at stake at the present, a smile leapt to my face and I felt a quick rush of excitement: Nora would be there.

 A short laugh escaped me and I shook my head; I was hopeless.

***



Every head turned when I entered, excitedly welcoming me with their eyes. But I hardly noticed. I was only searching for one head, one pair of eyes. I scanned the crowd until I saw her. As usual, she had taken absolutely no notice of my arrival and seemed lost in a conversation with her father.

The crowd understandingly parted as I made my way towards her and Mr. Ainsworth caught sight of me, hurridely pointing me out to his daughter. She turned and, to my relief, smiled. Not an open smile, but an accepting one--a definite improvement since the last time we'd met in a ballroom.

"Good evening, Mr. Samuelson," Mr. Ainsworth happily greeted.
"Good evening, Sir," I gave a small bow, "And how are you fairing this evening?"
He smiled, "Quite well, thank you. How are--" he was interrupted as his other two daughters came up behind him.
"Oh father, we can't find Mr. Scotts anywhere! Please, you must help us find him!"
With a sigh in their direction and a shrug in mine, he surrendered, turning to follow them.

That, of course, just left us. I felt that familiar nervousnes return again as I finally turned my attention to her.

"You look especially lovely this evening, Nora."
She smiled but seemed to be studying me, looking for some sort of motive, "Thank you."
"And I mean it," I chuckled, grabbing her hands and spinning us in a small circle, "Can't you take any of my actions seriously? I already know I can't ever hope to impress you with empty compliments."
She gave a small laugh at my sudden energy, "And why would you hope to impress me, Elliot? I think we've both already sworn to dislike each other."
"And we both know how enjoyable that can be," I teased, feeling myself relax, "I've decided I'd rather enjoy the ball tonight. Would you honor me with the next dance?"

She seemed a little overwhelmed for a moment, but soon shook it off though with a smile.
"Yes, I suppose I can give you a chance to redeem yourself."

I laughed out loud, suddenly feeling the same way I had at the creek today. Like Elliot Snyder. Like the gloves and shoes were off again;  it was perhaps the most refreshing thing I'd felt in months.  I wondered how she did it. Granted she'd already seen a snag in the physical disguise, but how had she found the snag in the deeper one? I shook my head, deciding I'd worry about it later. Tonight I just wanted to enjoy myself. I'd certainly have to pay for it tommorrow but I sensed that my time with Nora Ainsworth was becoming limited.

As soon as the other dancers bowed and a new song struck up, I gently pulled her out to the floor. We took our places across from each other and then stepped forward when the music suggested.

"You're father didn't ask too many questions upon your return, did he?" I smiled.
"No," she chuckled, "Not as many as our last outing."
We parted ways and circled around those standing to the left of us before joining hands again.
"Did the hotel manager ask any?"
I sneered, "He stopped doing that a few weeks ago."
She laughed softly and we parted ways once more in the dance. We stayed in a content silence for a few more moments of the song, to my great surprise. Normally silence between us was only to keep us from exploding on each other.
"So tell me," I finally asked, glancing down at her, "Besides the carriage ride, how many more grudges do you hold against me?"
She grinned, "I'm afraid I couldn't tell you."
"And why not?"
"The song isn't long enough."
I dropped my jaw in mock offense and she smirked before we parted ways again.
"Well," I laughed once we rejoined, "You would think I'd made up for it by now as all I ever do around you is apologize."
"Among other things," she teased, "I've never knew it was possible for anyone to make so many matters worse."
I chuckled, "I'm not the talk of the town for nothing."


By the time the dance was over and I'd escorted her off, things were already getting stuffy. The ball had had a good turn out and the place was full of people. Not in the mood to hold fake conversations with everyone as was usually my place at public events, I suggested we take a walk out in fresh air. Having nothing else to do, she agreed.

Chapter Thirty-One - Nora - Something New

I woke up early, groaning and wishing I could sleep if only an hour more. I definitely deserved it from the day before; I had been exhausted, mostly physically, but mentally too. It wasn't every day you got lost with your fake beloved,whom you actually disliked, only to find that once lost, you perhaps didn't despise him quite so much.

I smiled at the thought of Elliot. Sure, he could be a pain, but he wasn't the worst guy to be engaged to. And besides, he wasn't anything if not entertaining. There would never be a dull moment with him around.

A knock at my door had me sitting straight up, hoping it wasn't obvious what my thoughts had turned to.

"Miss?" Peggy pushed the door open, and I pretended to be nonchalant, smoothing out my covers.

"Yes?"

"There's a visitor here fer ye." She grinned, and I only had one idea who it could be.

"Oh?" I hadn't expected Elliot this early, or well, at all today. I had no idea what he could want. I reacted quickly though, hoping not to seem taken of-guard. "Please tell him I will be right with him."

"Yes, miss." Peggy nodded and closed the door, and the second it clicked shut, I threw my covers off me, taking off first this way and then that, frantic to find clothing and get myself made up for the day.

I hobbled down the stairs, using my right arm to put on my left shoe, and using my left arm to finish the bun in my hair. Huffing and puffing, I finally found my way down. I gave my skirts along with my hair one last smooth down, before taking a left to place myself right into the presense of Mr. Samuelson himself.

"Oh! Nora!" He placed whatever one of my father's trinkets he had been using to occupy himself down and stepped towards me. He seemed a bit jittery and unsure."I didn't wake you did I?"

"Oh, no. Not at all." I gave a small smile. Well, it was mostly true. I had been up, just not up.

"I didn't realize it was this early. Actually, I should probably go. It's too early, right? But see, I hardly slept at all last night, and Charles, and breakfast, and-" He figeted, and his eyes darted around the room. I could almost see the restlessness on him, cloaking him as if an extra skin.

"It's quite alright, I assure you Mr. Samuelson." I cut him off, even taking the effort to place my hand on his forearm, hoping to calm him somewhat. "But you did come here for something, surely?"

He laughed nervously. "Well, actually, the real reason I came here was to ask you to accompany me today on an outing. I know that we spent quite a deal of yesterday together, more than we both had anticipated, but seeing as how every moment we spend ends up in havoc or misery, I was hoping to make up for that today. I want to show you that we can have an enjoyable time together without anything going wrong, or with either of us losing our temper." He paused for a moment before muttering under his breath. "Hopefully."

I grinned, up for the challenge. "Where is this outing to take place?"

Now he grinned, "You'll just have to join me to find out."

*

The carriage bustled about, jostling us both to and fro. Elliot still refused to give any hint as to where we might be going, and so we sat in a comfortable silence, wih me racking my brain to figure where we could be headed. 

"Here we are!" Elliot declared, scaring me right out of my seat. I looked out the carriage window, only to realize we weren't anywhere. Besides a couple of trees here and there, the landscape was barren and otherwise of no consequence.

"Here? Are you positive?" I asked, uncertainty in my face and my voice, I was sure.

"Yes!" Elliot scrambled out of the carriage, his excitement spilling over. I wanted to be polite and feign excitement, only for his sake, but I didn't. He threw open my door and stood to the side a bit, wanting me to take it all in.

I inhaled sharply. What I had missed before was a small waterfall that fell between rocks, some few yards off. It dribbled into a stream- more of a creek- just a few steps from where we stood. "Elliot, how did you ever find this place? It's beautiful."

"I know a gentleman who likes to explore." Elliot stated smugly. "There are perks to being the most well-known man in the community."

I scoffed, and walked past him, looking into the clear water. "I've lived here my whole life and I've never seen anything like this." I bent down and scooped up a handful of water. It was cool, just the perfect temperature for a day like today.

"I thought someone like you might appreciate it." Elliot smirked, his confidence back, now that we were here.

"Not as much as someone like you would though, right?" I grinned knowingly, as I scooped up another handful, this time a target in mind. The small splash landed right smack in his face, and I hid a giggle behind my hand, hoping he wasn't about to get angry with me.

"Oooh! So that is how you want it, Miss Ainsworth?" Elliot ran to the creek, scooping up water with a vigerous energy, not even waiting to take off his gloves. He splashed me, hitting my skirts, and I laughed. Soon, it was an all out war. Sock, shoes, gloves, and hats laid by the bed of the creek as the two of us splashed and laughed. 

By the time it hit noon, we were both soaking wet, from our the top of our heads down to our feet. "Surely we shouldn't get back in the carriage looking like this." I laughed, laying on the creek, trying to catch my breath.

"As I recall Miss Ainsworth, this won't be the first time I've driven you home wet and dripping." Elliot found a spot next to me to rest, and he laid down beside me.

I smiled at the memory. "That's quite true, Mr. Samuelson." I picked a wildflower, spinning it idly in my hand. "Only this time, I think I'll be quite glad to be in the same carriage as you."

Elliot gave a hardy laugh. "Only you, Nora would hold a grudge against a man for giving you a ride home."

"Well, if you wanted to court someone happy to fawn over you, I'm sure you'll have your pick." I teased. "I'm sure Charlotte would be obliged."

Elliot chuckled. "No, there's no other girl quite like you Nora."

*

"I'm sorry to say I didn't believe you Elliot. I wasn't sure we could have an enjoyable time without something happening. But you were right, I will admit." We paused, because now we were on my front porch. Now it was time to part.

"It was enjoyable, if I do say so myself." Elliot paused, looking as if he were having a war with himself internally. His face scrunched up, and then he shook it off and shrugged his shoulders. "Good bye Nora." He leaned in before I could do anything and gave a quick kiss on my cheek before he took off, not quite running, but almost.

I rolled my eyes at his antics, and watched as he got in his carriage and rolled out of the property. My eyes never left the carriage until it was out of sight.

My hand lifted involunarily to the place where his lips had been on my cheek, where it was still warm. I wasn't sure, but something was different between us. And I wasn't entirely sure that was a good thing.