Chapter Thirty-Two - Elliot - A Successful Failure

"Stupid, stupid, stupid," I muttered under my breath, hurrying through town in hopes no one would interrupt me if I looked rushed enough.

Why on earth had I done that?! Spending a whole day with her was crossing the line already, but kissing her? Granted it was only on the cheek, but I could only imagine what sort of thoughts were going through her head. We were supposed to breaking off this engagement. More importantly, I was supposed to be breaking off this engagement.

I groaned and shoved my hat down over my eyes; it was no wonder she didn't have any confidence in me. Around her, I couldn't hold a commitment any more than I could a conversation these days. I was always spluttering and grasping for words. Her confidence in me was rightly only lessened by today's performance.

"I'm not made of money, Elliot," Charles had said over breakfast this morning. I'd only taken a sip from my drink to hide my smirk; sometimes I begged to differ--the man could seemingly pull things from a hat at times.

"I can't pay for a wedding and you haven't done anything towards this engagement thing. I told you you'd have to follow through, but I didn't mean to the end! Any longer and she's going to discover you. Then what?"

I'd sighed, suddenly losing my appetite, "I don't know Charles. I haven't had time to come up with ideas."

"And you think I have?" he'd demanded. I didn't meet his gaze. I knew I had far overstayed my welcome with this plan but there was nothing I could do! Thanks to me, Charles had no idea of the full platter these past weeks had been. Luckily he'd softened back into the cousin I knew and sighed.

"I’m sorry, Elliot. I suppose I'm not the one in danger of getting married. But you really need to figure this out. I know you've asked me for suggestions but you know the most about the situation. Perhaps you should pay her another visit and discuss things one last time."

So that had been the plan this morning. Until she placed her hand on my arm. Failing had never felt like such an accomplishment. I may not be doing well in any other area, but I'd won her approval! That had to be redeeming in some way.

And yet, that was the real reason I regretted pressing my lips to her soft cheek. Like a villian who was being rewarded rather than punished, I didn't deserve it. I was a complete liar. If I were any real gentleman, I'd have stopped this whole thing a long time ago. Before it had the potential of hurting her.

I sighed and fiddled with the wet gloves in my pocket. It seemed Charles' costumes and lectures could only get me so far. Yes you could comb Elliot Snyder's hair down and strap him into a trenchcoat, but that didn't make him a gentleman. There was still that boy who thought everything was a game. That adolescent that let his passions rule his actions. That man who ran from his problems.

 And, as much as I'd thought this charade would be a new leaf for me, it appeared absolutely nothing had changed.

Looking up, I realized I was approaching the Lettington's house. Originally I had intended on returning and reporting to Charles how things had gone. Now, however, that was my last intention. My cousin deserved explanation enough but I didn't have the heart today. I'd ruined every plan he'd thought up--plans only made to assist me--and I couldn't face him again with only disapointment.

No. I'd just devote my dwindling energies to preparing myself for the ball tonight.

The ball. Despite everything at stake at the present, a smile leapt to my face and I felt a quick rush of excitement: Nora would be there.

 A short laugh escaped me and I shook my head; I was hopeless.

***



Every head turned when I entered, excitedly welcoming me with their eyes. But I hardly noticed. I was only searching for one head, one pair of eyes. I scanned the crowd until I saw her. As usual, she had taken absolutely no notice of my arrival and seemed lost in a conversation with her father.

The crowd understandingly parted as I made my way towards her and Mr. Ainsworth caught sight of me, hurridely pointing me out to his daughter. She turned and, to my relief, smiled. Not an open smile, but an accepting one--a definite improvement since the last time we'd met in a ballroom.

"Good evening, Mr. Samuelson," Mr. Ainsworth happily greeted.
"Good evening, Sir," I gave a small bow, "And how are you fairing this evening?"
He smiled, "Quite well, thank you. How are--" he was interrupted as his other two daughters came up behind him.
"Oh father, we can't find Mr. Scotts anywhere! Please, you must help us find him!"
With a sigh in their direction and a shrug in mine, he surrendered, turning to follow them.

That, of course, just left us. I felt that familiar nervousnes return again as I finally turned my attention to her.

"You look especially lovely this evening, Nora."
She smiled but seemed to be studying me, looking for some sort of motive, "Thank you."
"And I mean it," I chuckled, grabbing her hands and spinning us in a small circle, "Can't you take any of my actions seriously? I already know I can't ever hope to impress you with empty compliments."
She gave a small laugh at my sudden energy, "And why would you hope to impress me, Elliot? I think we've both already sworn to dislike each other."
"And we both know how enjoyable that can be," I teased, feeling myself relax, "I've decided I'd rather enjoy the ball tonight. Would you honor me with the next dance?"

She seemed a little overwhelmed for a moment, but soon shook it off though with a smile.
"Yes, I suppose I can give you a chance to redeem yourself."

I laughed out loud, suddenly feeling the same way I had at the creek today. Like Elliot Snyder. Like the gloves and shoes were off again;  it was perhaps the most refreshing thing I'd felt in months.  I wondered how she did it. Granted she'd already seen a snag in the physical disguise, but how had she found the snag in the deeper one? I shook my head, deciding I'd worry about it later. Tonight I just wanted to enjoy myself. I'd certainly have to pay for it tommorrow but I sensed that my time with Nora Ainsworth was becoming limited.

As soon as the other dancers bowed and a new song struck up, I gently pulled her out to the floor. We took our places across from each other and then stepped forward when the music suggested.

"You're father didn't ask too many questions upon your return, did he?" I smiled.
"No," she chuckled, "Not as many as our last outing."
We parted ways and circled around those standing to the left of us before joining hands again.
"Did the hotel manager ask any?"
I sneered, "He stopped doing that a few weeks ago."
She laughed softly and we parted ways once more in the dance. We stayed in a content silence for a few more moments of the song, to my great surprise. Normally silence between us was only to keep us from exploding on each other.
"So tell me," I finally asked, glancing down at her, "Besides the carriage ride, how many more grudges do you hold against me?"
She grinned, "I'm afraid I couldn't tell you."
"And why not?"
"The song isn't long enough."
I dropped my jaw in mock offense and she smirked before we parted ways again.
"Well," I laughed once we rejoined, "You would think I'd made up for it by now as all I ever do around you is apologize."
"Among other things," she teased, "I've never knew it was possible for anyone to make so many matters worse."
I chuckled, "I'm not the talk of the town for nothing."


By the time the dance was over and I'd escorted her off, things were already getting stuffy. The ball had had a good turn out and the place was full of people. Not in the mood to hold fake conversations with everyone as was usually my place at public events, I suggested we take a walk out in fresh air. Having nothing else to do, she agreed.